Jerry, you need to find god
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize