Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize