In the future we'll all be gay
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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