Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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