After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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