I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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