I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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