We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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