You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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