I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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