he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
