How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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