Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
