that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
