hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
