Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
