And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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