Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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