ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
