Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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