Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
