You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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