She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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