Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
