plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This toilet bowl is my home.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
