I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
