..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
