I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
