He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
