you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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