im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
