Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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