I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
