Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize