we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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