They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
