very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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