Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
