I must be too annoying 4 u.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize