U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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