He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
