I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
