I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
