So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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