I love black thongs
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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