she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
