i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
