this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
