I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
