i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
