Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
A bitchslap is in order.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
