Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize