Farmville is her only friend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
