I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
