Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize