BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
