Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
