he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sext me about skeletons
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
