Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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