She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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