Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
whose parrot is this?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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