Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
